Originally published on Medium.
In her new office. On the couch, the CEO scrolling thoughtfully through stories.
Incense burning, nature sounds from Spotify.
Chief Executive Officer: I read of many regulars complaining of decreasing views. Should I worry?
Chief Editor: They see the new coming, and they’re shitting themselves. A lot of new authors are flowing in. Just turnover. We’re progressively channeling views to editorial content, you know.
CEO: Yeah, but I’m sorry to see some of them leaving. Many are here since long. I cannot clap or comment, but I read them. One of them invented a skeleton. Can you imagine it? He cracks me up every time…
CE: You can’t stop the new coming.
CEO: I know, but their rants…
CE: Do you want to mind about some jealous writer? They see smarter bloggers, here, having success in a few weeks with the usual tricks, while they’re stuck. Come on! It’s normal. They’re just losers.
CEO: Yes. We have to keep on track. But aren’t we pushing a bit hard on “modern” content?
CE: The world will be full of bots before we end our chat. My house is already full of them. They even greet me before my dog. Do you want to stay behind?
CEO: I see you’re the best choice I’ve made here… And what can we do with publications? They complain we are unfairly pushing the editorial content and they’re now a minor presence.
CE: Listen, I saw publications with not even a single article on blockchains or the usual Trump keyword in their settings. They can’t go far anyway. They don’t even have a custom domain!
CEO: Oh, the thing of the custom domain was me. I blocked and reversed all tech developments for publications in sight of hiring you.
CE: Oh, so kind…
CEO: But they now say we’re stealing their audience. A few of our editorials in a month can just kill them.
CE: Hope so. We have also promoted our flagship publication as the first topic on the home page to boost the process and gave featured articles a special layout. The sooner we get rid of publications and indie authors, the better. Believe me. Think of the good of the magazine.
CEO: Changing subject, hope you don’t plan content except in English. Some complain lack of support to other languages, but I don’t want to encourage them.
CE: No way. We’re in 2018. Everybody should be fluent in English. If their granny has still to learn it, we are giving authors the opportunity to educate their audience.
CEO: What’s cooking, for the next weeks?
CE: Oh, you won’t believe… Popular names but non-obvious content. GaryV will post about the impossibility to get noticed in the current social media scenario. So, he’ll suggest falling back on the recreational use of mushrooms. Powerful referral to our content there. Big juice. Then… Oh, he costed a fortune but… we have Tony Robbins! I’ve already written his post (having the post penned by him would have costed more). You can’t change your life. Stop complaining about your job. Your job is what you deserve. You need to change attitude. Think of replacing yourself, in your private life, with a robot! It will live your private life for you. Tony will be over the moon when he reads it.
CEO: Ingenious! But I have good news myself. I got several dozen million, from investors, but we spent only 14. I can now make some improvements to the platform. I’ll finally give custom profile to users! Filters! Users will be able to follow comments on posts. Serious stats. Notifications won’t be a mess anymore. We’ll give happiness to our customers!
CE: You’re nut? More editors. And invest in Quora. Safe bet.